When a family crisis strikes, it is never at a convenient time, because there isn’t one. A crisis disrupts life’s routine, and can often shake us to our core.
IF THERE IS A PHYSICAL EMERGENCY – CALL 911
Otherwise, read on…
While men are most often the ones who work as first responders in emergency services, if the family crisis is of that sort, we are usually still unprepared, to handle a crisis in our own family.
It’s one thing to respond to an accident, but quite another if your wife or children find themselves in a situational crisis. Men are often prepared to stop the bleeding, but ill equipped to mend a broken heart, or navigate through relational tragedy like suicide, divorce, runaway children, or even a miscarriage.
This post is about helping you, to navigate through your family crisis, as a leader in your family.
Biblical men are expected to be the providers and protectors of their family. But when tragedy strikes, often men feel as if they have failed in their duty. Which is simply not the truth. So much of life is unpredictable, and out of your control, but as biblical men, you can rise to the challenge.
It is times like this, that the Christian man should lean on his Heavenly Father for guidance. Our response will determine a lot about the outcome of the situation, for ourselves, and those who we love the most!
How you respond in a family crisis will either help, or hurt.
Men that work in the emergency response industry are always drilled about the value of safety. Nobody wants the rescuer, to become the next victim. That is not only tragic, but it compounds the crisis, and makes it worse.
If you are not directly involved in the crisis, don’t become involved to the point of being part of the crisis. For example, don’t get in a fight, or drive recklessly, or disappear.
Like a tea bag, hot water will bring out what is already inside of you. Be careful here, because during a family crisis, what’s inside of you will most likely come out, and be put on display for all to see. Besides, your family needs you at your best right now.
So here the are – 5 Leadership Tips to Help in a Family Crisis
Follow these tips, as a guide for providing good leadership in a family crisis. This is only a guide, and you are encouraged to seek professional help. All of the answers are not here, but we think it’s full of good advice.
Before you read this article, you might want to be prepared to bookmark it for later, or write the tips down somewhere. I recommend that you consider writing them down in the back of your Bible somewhere, so you know where to look when you need them.
So here we go…
Tip #1: Stay Calm – Pray
It’s easy to get worked up in a family crisis, but that will cloud your judgement, and affect your ability to lead your family. Now is the time to pray! Call on the name of the Lord, for his divine protection, and for the wisdom that you are going to need.
I can’t help but think of the Apostle Peter, as Jesus was about to be crucified. As Jesus was praying in the Garden, Peter slept instead of praying.
No wonder he lashed out at the Roman guard with a sword, as if he could prevent what was happening. It was only about an hour later, that he denied Christ three times.
Peter did not remain calm, and pray. Because of this, he reacted wrongly, and became part of the problem.
Now is the time to pray, be calm, and don’t do anything rash. Collect yourself spiritually, and ask the Lord to protect and guide you through this. You need His intervention, and it is through prayer that you make that happen.
Take a few moments, and some deep breaths. Collect yourself, and pray. Then move on.
Psalm 18:2–3 “The LORD is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower. I will call upon the LORD, who is worthy to be praised: so shall I be saved from mine enemies.”
Stay Calm, and Pray.
Tip #2: Assess the Situation with Wisdom
When the storms of life come to your house, it is easy to start casting blame. How quickly men can come to rushed judgments. We have all been guilty of that at some point.
It is in those crisis situations that you will need wisdom!
Proverbs 2:11 “Discretion shall preserve thee, understanding shall keep thee”
Level heads usually prevail in a family crisis. So be the one that exercises discretion, prudence, and understanding. In the long run, you will be glad that you did.
When you approach a family crisis with these things in mind, you are providing the exact kind of leadership that the Lord wants you to provide. Situations can get messy and confusing real fast, so going into it with a level head will stabilize your leadership, and protect your family.
Your life experience, and walk with God, should provide enough wisdom for you to draw from. If it doesn’t, then that should be an eye opener. Your walk with God needs to improve in the future. We hope that Active Manhood can assist you with that.
Which leads to the next tip…
Tip # 3: Protect Your Family
I am not dealing with a specific family crisis here, but only in general. That being said, you need to protect your family. That is your God-given responsibility. Own it.
It’s not easy, when accusations start to fly, and there is a lack of clarity in the situation. When money is involved, or someone has been wounded, or the drama has ratcheted up to its peak, protect your family.
Until the dust settles, don’t accept any accusations against anyone. Get your family removed from the situation as quickly as possible, to a safe place, and let everyone cool down. That may take some time.
Do your best to ignore any accusatory texts, emails, and especially social media posts. Whenever you type anything out, and press “send”, your words are recorded. Now is not the time to go back and forth on your smart phone, put it away.
If you need to make a phone call, make one. Be careful who you call, and why.
Remember to stay calm yourself, and any interaction that you offer with the people involved, should be to de-escalate the situation. Tempers may flare up, but you should just be calm, and get your family out of harms way.
Be strong emotionally, resist any temptation to get angry, but protect your loved ones. If there is any fault, it will come out in the end. If someone in your family has to shoulder any blame, help them to own up, and then carry the load with them.
Don’t be an enabler, but be a protector!
Tip #4: Get Some Help
Like it or not, often times men don’t like to ask for help. If that’s you, then it would be good idea for you to reconsider that habit, in a family crisis. If you, or someone in your family needs help, it’s your responsibility to get them the help they need.
Maybe you need to go sit down with your pastor for a chat. Don’t underestimate his ability to help you navigate through a crisis. Most pastors are well versed in this, because they deal with it on a regular basis. You are not interrupting him, you are helping him fulfill his calling.
Sometimes the pastor isn’t the right one to call, for a variety of reasons. If that is the case, it’s time to reach out to a trusted mentor, a man of God that you look up to. It’s important that he not be someone that is involved with, or aware of, the crisis. His unbiased counsel is what you are looking for.
The key here is that you need to realize that you don’t have all the answers. But you can get the help you need for your family. Men like your pastor or mentor are probably well prepared to equip you with the resources that your family needs, to get help.
Help might be through a referral to another agency, or ministry, or to a counselor, or even a book to read. The point is that help is available, if you are willing to seek it. Be discrete if you have to, but get the help that you or your family needs.
Tip #5: Be Patient with Others
In a family crisis situation, people don’t behave like themselves. Even you, are probably going to talk and act in ways that you don’t normally. So be patient with them. They need your understanding right now.
Children are usually not very prepared for unexpected crisis, and can act up in a lot of ways. Now is not the time enforce strict discipline. Now is the time to help any children involved in the crisis, to understand the vocabulary of their emotions.
Take time to pray together as a family. Get your trusted friends and family praying too. Spiritual protection is a vital aspect of protecting your family too. Don’t neglect it.
This is a good time to show a lot of grace! In the days that follow, there is most likely going to be an emotional roller coaster. The highs and lows will affect their sleep, their attitudes, and their energy. Going through a family crisis isn’t easy.
Be patient with yourself also. Leading your family through a crisis can be exhausting, and will bring you to the end of yourself. This is a time for you to grow, in your relationship with the Lord, and with your family. Be honest about what you learn about yourself during this difficult time.
Get some time alone, do a gut check, and get back to leading your family.
- Stay Calm – Pray.
- Assess the Situation with Wisdom.
- Protect Your Family.
- Get Some Help.
- Be Patient with Others.
Following these simple but powerful and proven tips, will help you lead your family through a difficult time.
Again, you may want to bookmark this post, or write it down somewhere for later.
There is no way to know when a family crisis is going to strike, or how severe it will be. In my experience, every time it happens, it is a threat. So it’s always wise as a biblical man, to be ready.
Your daily walk with God, prayer time, Bible study, and church attendance are very important to stay spiritually fit. Being ready to lead your family through a crisis starts before it ever happens. It begins with YOU…deciding to be a biblical man!
If you are reading this post, and you are in the middle of a family crisis, then I would love for you to contact me through our Facebook Page. Just private message me, and I would be glad to pray for you and your family.
If it’s serious enough, I would even be willing to get our entire Active Manhood community praying for you, while we also protect your confidentiality and identity.
If you know someone… that is in the middle of a family crisis, …help them out…. by sharing this post with them.
Simply use our social media tools here, and “share” it with them. You can also just copy the link in your browsers address bar and then message it to them privately.
Your family will get through this. No matter how hard it might seem, you will get through it. Stay close to the Lord during the hardest times, and he will walk with you, through the valley.
We hope this article on family crisis has been helpful. You are not alone, and you can make it through with the grace of God!